Business Card Aaaargh
The London Screenwriters Festival is almost upon us, which is an occasion on which forcing your business card upon people politely offering your business card to every moving body is deemed socially acceptable, if not mandatory. Packs of writers will rally one another to bouts networking courage through little competitions, like who can give out or acquire the most cards.
Admittedly this usually results in the majority of card exchanges happening between fellow writerly aspirants, which is often less productive than slipping your card into the hand of say an executive, director or producer – who many of us are catastrophically incapable of speaking to in a manner that sells us as intelligent, interesting or even human. But look, we’re a shy bunch, by and large. Baby steps.
The point of course is that for any exchange of cards to occur, said cards must first exist. Which leads rather neatly to the Aaaaargh at hand.
Put yourself in the place of a Person of Power attending the Festival (and by this I mean anything from a potential fellow collaborator to an agent who might just think you’re the bomb). You’re going to spend three days being politely harangued by gangs of quietly terrified writers, desperate to network and be noticed. You’re going to end up with a hand (briefcase and every available pocket) full of business cards and a brain rammed with new names and faces, most of which will remain in a defiant state of disconnect. Or possibly that’s just me. But while first impressions and snatched conversations can be fleeting, those cards will be reliably real and present.
Photographers, artists, actors and models and their ilk are the lucky ones – they get great cards. You have to be a right muppet to fail on making striking cards for the likes of those professions. But writers? I’m sifting through my collection from a few years back and while some are quirky and cute and occasionally clever, there’s not a whole lot a business card can say about the writer, beyond them being one – contactable by phone, email, website, blog, Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus and hell, here’s even a mail address, cos you’re sure to want that.
So what do you put on the damn thing?
Sometimes I get daft ideas at inappropriate times, like while supposedly doing that important Writing Thing in a country house hotel. Say, yesterday. Supposed to be writing, but instead I’m thinking: I have lots of crazy pictures now, wouldn’t they make fun business cards?
Well yes, they kind of do. The question is, what do they say? Obviously what I want them to say to said People of Power is something beyond ‘another girl who writes stuff’ – excellent, because that’s new – and more along the lines of say ‘oh yes, this was that worryingly chipper girl who writes kickass stuff’ – or even just ‘Australian Psycho’ might pitch me ahead of the field. I’m not fussy, really.
So, my friends, I present a few rough cuts of cards that (hopefully) represent something of both who I am (I mean, they’re me, right?) and what I write (bold, dynamic and usually female-led drama, often with a fantastical twist and inevitably a healthy dose of ass-kickage).
Thus far, from a small sample group, interpretations have varied wildly. For instance:
CARD 1
According to one friend, this says her name is Bond. Jane Bond. And I’ll be honest – I quite like that.
According to two other friends though, this says come hither, I bring you porn. Not so hot on that. I think perhaps context has been lost from the full picture.
Yes, I am am grabbing the pole, people. The POLE.
Yeah, and then again… I still love it, but I can see it.
CARD 2
We have Victor Kurzweil’s Sin-City-meets-Kill-Bill mashup of cool. But really, while visually striking, what does a blade covered in the blood of my enemies actually say to a Prospective Person of Power? Are we intrigued, or actually slightly alarmed?
CARD 3
Another Kurzweil, this one has been very popular so far – mostly with people who are familiar with my writing and belief that any excuse for including a sword is a good excuse. Comments ran along the lines of ‘encapsulates your style’ and ‘hell yes’.
One or two people considered it too aggressive and my face too small. This is of less concern to me, because it occurs that people who thus far only know me via Facebook are likely to be very disappointed to meet me sans airbrushing, arms and armour.
CARD 4
Swords are of course cool and indeed, any excuse (or corset) will do. This Sean Kelly image has rated highly so far, although does it lean too heavily towards the fantastical (which is certainly the case for my novels, but less so for my scriptwriting?).
Decisions, decisions.
CARD 5
This image, an accidental gem from Peter J Sawyer (‘Hey Adele, can you pull yourself up on that pipe?’), has a few fans. While certainly striking, I do wonder myself what ‘Sure, I can totally hang off the wall’ says about my writing though, per se.
CARD 6
I did put in a disclaimer about excessive sword wielding somewhere, right? Cos yup, there we go again. Check the serious face. We’re talking deep & meaningful here people, no?
CARD 7
So within geek polling, this one of Sean’s has been a big winner, and it’s not just because of the gun.
Hands up, sucker.
It’s because I am totally Princess Leia.
You see?
CARD 8
And this is the tricky one, the joker in the pack, because although it’s been popular, it also – by wont of being a traditional portrait card – undermines the whole mission of creating a Unique & Memorable Business Card. Although it has the bonus feature of instant recognition (ok ok, sans airbrushing blah blah blah), it potentially sets me right back in the region of ‘another girl who writes stuff. What stuff? No idea. Pass.’
On the upside, this card is probably less likely to have ‘Australian Psycho’ scrawled across the back. Speaking of which…
FINALLY… THE BACK
(sample image only)
Mostly white space, I am told, so that people can write down their prognosis – but I felt there were a few more words that needed to be said.
AND TO THE AAAARGH
So, my friends – what say you? Can you declare one of these cards a winner? Do you have a favourite? Shall I just make a collectible set, to serve all appreciations? Or is the whole idea an incoming PR disaster?
The success of my upcoming weekend of networking lays in your hands…
Okay, so on one level, I absolutely love these, especially 1, 4, and 7, and I think they can really work for some of what a business card is supposed to do for you. They’re cool. They’re memorable. You look absolutely gorgeous. You also look like someone who is willing to have fun. These are all good things. They’d be fantastic for fans and wonderful for helping spread your reputation to the masses. The general audience will look at these and many will be impelled to find out more about you. They are great mid to late career cards.
The one problem with them is that, with the exception of 8, these are all cards that will work best when given to someone who you’ve had a chance to talk to for long enough to introduce context. If you’ve made a decent connection with the person you’re giving one of these to, they’ll be a great touchback. A person will absolutely remember you from these. The problem is that for a professional who doesn’t have that context these are going to say 1) model 2) possibly crazy. Alternatively and given a sense of fun on the part of said professional, 3) someone who is willing to have fun.
This is one of the cases where projecting cool and memorable may run smack into projecting professional and not crazy. As someone who is probably more well known for dressing up as Mr Tumnus and wandering around shirtless in the snow at Neil’s place than I am for my own books, I really understand the temptation of the cool photo. Doubly so since you’re gorgeous and have a stock of really cool photos.
I’m really torn about giving you advice one way or the other here. These are cards that will almost certainly lose some professionals who get them. On the other hand, they really do stand out from the general run of business cards and that might buy you some opportunities that you wouldn’t otherwise have a shot at. With the rise of indy publishing and the ever-increasing need to create a platform and a memorable personal brand, these might turn out to be the best idea ever, but they will definitely cut against the sense of professionalism of some of your audience.
Hey Kelly! Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, and so thoroughly. Great points, all taken – so how’s this for a compromise: two sets of cards. Card 8, portrait on black, on hand for spontaneous handage, or when the professional front is clearly the way to go. Second set – 4 variants on the fun card, for after a proper conversation and when it seems appropriate. When in doubt – card 8. When being a bit barking seems the way forward, variants.
Two birds, one stone?
That sounds like a solid plan. You’ve got a classic increased risk, increased chance of rewards situation with these. It’s not as safe a play, but it’s much stronger in a lot of situations. At at the same time you do want to have a more boring version on hand for those moment where boring is the better choice.
I’m a huge fan of card 4. I think you do have to make a bit of a statement for yourself when creating a business card since you bring a lot of experience and personality into what you do and I’m guessing into your writing too. Forget the traditional! Another thing to consider is that the image of you on that card may not immediately click as being you. Your card is memorable for the interesting image and implication of what you write, and incidentally “oh yeah, that’s me” will be something for them to remember… If they notice. Could even be a good gauge of how much attention you actually snagged from the person you’re talking to; does he/she recognise you in the photo?? Eh. That’s just my opinion!